No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We're too hungover to prance.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize