Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
