Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
