So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
