Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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