i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
