Don't you send me to vm
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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