I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
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