I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm both gender and math confused
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Text me some of your sweat
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