You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
