I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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