Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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