when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
