My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
