can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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