My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Randomize
