She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
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I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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