Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
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He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
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Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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