it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
