you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
