I just saw a hot homeless man
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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