Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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