There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
