ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
