coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
