Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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