Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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