He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
