Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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