I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
