her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize