You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
