My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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