im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
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Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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