So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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