They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
