For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
