I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
