They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
