The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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