Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize