How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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