Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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