What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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