Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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