why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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