Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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