scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
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