I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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