apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
