Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
