It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
