I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
