And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
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