i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize