Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.

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  (253): Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs. http://tfl.nu/k3j3
  Replies (13) Good night (1029) Bad night (3190) Order T-Shirt
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.

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  (847): Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over. http://tfl.nu/gmxm
  Replies (35) Good night (1291) Bad night (2694) Order T-Shirt
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)

  (1-773): View more from Illinois

  How many people did you send this to?

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  (773): CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;) (1-773): How many people did you send this to? http://tfl.nu/e1gk
  Replies (11) Good night (4383) Bad night (475) Order T-Shirt
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.

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  (519): I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that. http://tfl.nu/jia8
  Replies (110) Good night (14506) Bad night (821) Order T-Shirt
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.

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  (406): Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified. http://tfl.nu/dihz
  Replies (14) Good night (4877) Bad night (1492) Order T-Shirt
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  sometimes you have to go after what you want

  (313): View more from Michigan

  true. and i really want to cum

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  (616): sometimes you have to go after what you want (313): true. and i really want to cum http://tfl.nu/14gc
  Replies (9) Good night (4056) Bad night (735)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid

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  (573): My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid http://tfl.nu/x6gk
  Replies (7) Good night (977) Bad night (2813) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.

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  (401): We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/48jv
  Replies (8) Good night (3315) Bad night (834) Order T-Shirt
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  (407): View more from Florida

  A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke

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  (407): A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke http://tfl.nu/oufu
  Replies (4) Good night (552) Bad night (2077) Order T-Shirt
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.

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  (651): Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker. http://tfl.nu/umuy
  Replies (13) Good night (1226) Bad night (363) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers

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  (905): I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers http://tfl.nu/jbgt
  Replies (5) Good night (946) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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  (571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g
  Replies (12) Good night (1390) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy

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  (515): i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy http://tfl.nu/58yw
  Replies (15) Good night (1234) Bad night (247) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".

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  (+44): No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills". http://tfl.nu/ec0b
  Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (282) Order T-Shirt
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy

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  (314): A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy http://tfl.nu/x180
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (238) Order T-Shirt

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