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Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
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