Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
