Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize