Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
